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Aug. 5th, 2009



 I love my natural ability of self control. Mind over matter, and you can achieve anything.

Jun. 3rd, 2009


Prosperous Ottawa!

Ottawa is treating me very nicely.
a short summary of my visit so far:
  • Day 1, Saturday: Got picked up at the airport by Ryan and Cote. Quickly picked up Brooke, and finally met their dog Wrigley. what a cutie! got a quick view of their house too. Absolutely beautiful. Hope I can live in a place like that someday. Got dropped off at the apartment. Ryan and I went for a stroll around town, and got a bite to eat at an old Irish pub (O'Connors I believe). walked around town, enjoyed the bustle of the night life and live music outside on the warm night. Came home for some much deserved and long awaited lovin!
  • Day 2: Sunday: Everything is open on sunday here. So we got up and went to get the groceries. Before going there, we stopped at Wallack's art supply store, and lovely lovely Ryan bought me some art supplies to keep me entertained while he is away at work as a graduation present. We both also hope to have some artwork to give to his friends before I leave.  Once we struggled our way home with all that load of food and art supplies, we unpacked the goods and then headed down to the Rideau Centre mall. Ryan bought a jacket, and we were going to head to a movie with Brooke and Cote, but we had a bit of a scheduling conflict. So Ryan and I ended up spending a fun and quiet evening at home. 
  • Day 3, Monday: Ryan went to work today. I was feeling a bit lost in the apartment alone. So what did I do? I cleaned! Ryans place is a bit dusty, so i figured for my own good i would try and remedy that. Unfortunately i ran out of paper towels (and he has no rags to use) so i only got the job half done. And somehow while cleaning the bathroom, i plugged the sink. Now we wash our hands and brush our teeth in the kitchen. haha! When ryan got home, it was pouring down rain, and he was exhausted. He mentioned wishing he had a beer, and i said i wouldnt mind a drink myself, so i ventured out into the rain and unknown Ottawa streets. Yes I got lost. Yes I got soaked. YES the liquor sore was closed when i found it, and so i had to walk to the freaking mall to get beer. It was one of the more uncomfortable things i've ever done... walking with two cases of liquor in my arms (no handles on em!) and trying to carry an umbrella at the same time. I was so sore when i got home! but it was worth it. I got to get lost and found in the city, and the showers are sooooooo warm here. It was kind of nice!
  • Day 4, Tuesday: Suzanne picked me up today, and we went to the National Art Gallery. WOAH. That is one HUGE gallery! I was very impressed with the renissance show they had, but by the end it was just Suzanne and I being typical, sharing stories and acting goofy together. After that we went to the ByWard market, which by the way, is my favorite place in Ottawa. Its a couple of blocks of street vendors that sell h and made jewellery, clothes, and other artisan crafts. Its an overload of the things i love most. Plus they have amazing other permanent stores there, and restaurants galore.  We ate at Zacks Diner, and virtual time machine to the 50's, right down to the music jukeboxes and the old fashioned milk shakes. We then shopped until the market closed. I bought a beautiful wooden necklace and two rings. 
  • Day 5, wednesday:  Today I had another date with Suzanne in the market, but because she was a bit late, i took the extra time to apply for some jobs online. Before I even got to her car, I got a call back for a screening interview. So we went to the market, I bought some sweet wooden earrings, and we spent some time in a french pastry shop, and went to the coolest store in Ottawa (called Lost Marbles, check that place out!) And then I had to get home for my interview! It went well, the asked me a lot of basic questions about my schooling, where i live, what my future plans are, and they wanted to know a lot about my work history in design. Ryan had soccer tonight, so while he went, i got us some more booze to celebrate my first call black! While i was there (at the Rideau Centre... I didnt want to get lost again trying to go to the other booze store) I bought myself some shorts. I deserve em for my hard work, yes? 
  • Day 6, thursday: Today I got up early and checked my email only to find that I passes the first screening test interview, and I am on to the next round of selection. I have to do an "audition" where i create a fictional website based on very strict guidelines they give me. I pass it in on MONDAY and they judge me based on my design skill level weather or not i should get the job. Only problem: I don't have a mac up here, or have any of the design programs on Ryans old PC.  Crap. Spent the better half of the morning chatting with suzanne trying to figure out a plan. She managed to hook me up with a friend who i could borrow a macbook from, thank god. I decided to de-stress with painting, and I managed to get a good chunk of two done. After that i was still buzzing with stress, so i cleaned the kitchen, top to bottom, sparkling clean. When Ryan got home and I told him about the prediciment, we talked about it, and he decided to buy me a macbook! He said "you have to spend money to make money." So combined with half from my education savings, and half from his bank account, I am now with-macbook. Ryan, as usual, is the lifesaver!  We went out to eat at the Fox and Feather late this evening, and ate on the upper deck patio.  It was magical! AND Ryan had his last cigarette today. Its quitting time! 
  • ___The rest of these days will be short... as Im writing them after the trip. Got carried away with ottawa life, and forgot to update!________________________________________________

  • Day 7, Friday: Gettin' down to business on my design audition!!! Ryan got of work early today, and in the evening we went to his baseball game in Barhaven. Afterwords, the team and I went out to Boston Pizza for a celebratory meal and beer. His team mates are wonderful people! 
  • Day 8, Saturday: Ate breakfast at Eggspectation. Hands down, the best best best eggs ive ever had. I reccomend it to EVERYONE! After that, we took a long long long walk to the beer store in swealtering heat. Made the mistake of buying lots of booze (for the arrival of Ryans brother) and having to carry it all home. Still muchly enjoyed the walk. Once Brad arrived, we spent the night till the wee hours of the morning at the Heart and Crown, partying like its 1999. 
  • Day 9, Sunday: Hangover breakfast at The Mayflower. Took forever but was worth the wait. I literally spent the whole rest of the day, working on my website audition. 
  • Day 10, Monday: Was feeling mighty independent, so i decided to go out on my own today to get groceries and some art supplies from Wallacks.  I also took care of Ryans laundry before he got back. Really taking my place as a house wife, but apparently my grocery buying skills are in need of some practice. Ryan and I went back to Heartmans to grab some things i neglected. We spend the evening with Brooke and Cote, where we had a BBQ and Ryans amazing salad. Nom! On the ride home, Cote took us around the canal at night and to see some of the diplomats houses, including the houses of the prime minnister and the govourner general! 
  • Day 11, Tuesday: Must have had bad food. Was icky all day long. Still managed to clean up the apartment, and went to see UP in the evening. 
  • Day 12, Wednesday: Planned to see Suzanne today, but it fell through. Instead, i spent the day painting and exploring the town. Once Ryan was off work, we traveled our way up to Shoppers Drug Mart for some more of his nicotine patches, and Ryans AMAZING suggestion of Yours & Mine.   On our way back, we stopped at the Canal to take some photographs, and then rounded off the night with an excellent meal at the Elgin Street Diner. Then of course it was time to NOT use the Y&M, but instead g33k it out and play bejeweled against each other on separate computers! True love, I tell ya! 
  • Day 13, Thursday: Took the bus to the St Laurant Mall, where we explored all the surrounding areas together. Got us some strawberry massage lotions from the Body Shop and headed home to try em out.  We turned out the lights and watched Pans Labyrinthe while giving each other a lil' rubdown. Perfect way to fall asleep, which is exactly what Ryan did. haha! 
  • Day 14, Friday:  Ryan called off work! Strolled our way down to the byward market yet again, and met up with Suzanne at a pub for drinks and noms on the patio. Spent some more time exploring the market and the Reidau mall. Ryan bought two hats, and a roxy shirt for me, even though i protested. He knew i wanted it. haha! Then we kayaked the canal! Spent about an hour on the water, going under bridges and through overhanging willow trees. I only wish i had my camera. It was the most beautiful part of the whole trip! Afterwords, we had margaritas at the floating Mexicali Rosa's. 


I'll update this more as days pass. :)

May. 30th, 2009


(no subject)

I wish flying never existed. I want to be cryo frozen and thawed out when teleportation is used. Then I can see the world without manic attacks!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.


May. 29th, 2009


(no subject)

Leaving for Ottawa tomorrow. Scared of flying, but absolutly ecstatic about seeing Ryan. Hope he will like my new sans-braces smile!!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.


May. 24th, 2009

All you need is love

Winds of change

 Life has been a bustle lately. 

I am finally finished classes (for the rest of my life). It feels weird not seeing the same people every day, and not learning at a constant pace. Its a little bit of a relief, sort of like summer vacation. Im sure once september comes, it will really strike me. In the meantime, i'm completing a work placement at Springboard Studios. I love the work environment there, but unfortunately its not a paid position. I can only hope that It will turn into something more. 

Tomorrow I start a new job as a Multimedia Technician. Its only a grant, which limits my future plans. Ill be working till November at the latest, but part of their 'success plan' is to help me find solid work while i am there. I cant wait to start there, but i dread the 40 min commute twice a day. This means all summer long I will have to be an early riser. I was never much good at that, so it might mean the suffering of my social life. I think im okay with that. Its a good trade off for having weekends off. 

Thursday I am getting my braces off. Im going to be the happiest girl in the world that day! Im going to have an apple on my way back to work, and use whitestrips when i get home. And its happening at the perfect time. 

Saturday I am catching a flight to Ottawa to see my love. Its been 8 months since he left, and I feel like an empty shell. I will be spending two glorious weeks with him, and every day until i see him now feels like torture. I feel tears sting my eyes when I think of how happy and relieved I will be when I see him. It feels right now like it will be the happiest day of my life.  Leaving to come back will the hardest thing I will ever face. I cant stand the idea of being separated from him again. And with an unknown future path ahead of us, i already feel like my trip to see him is too short.  There is a possibility I will find work while I am there, and make plans to stay. Not living in CB is a hard thought to face, but not nearly as hard as being separated from Ryan again. 

So my life has been busy for sure. Lots of great things happening, lots of life changing things to come. I hope I will remember to record my time in Ottawa. But I may be too busy wrapped up in a whirlwind 2 week Romance to stop and write an entry.  We shall see.


Mar. 26th, 2009


(no subject)

School is almost getting the better of me. Projects are piling up like mad, and Im also adding outside projects to heap (because I need the money!). But its visually effecting me. Im breaking out, loosing hair, and loosing sleep. I cant wait till this is all done and I can get a regular work schedule!

Also, I'll be staying home from Ottawa this summer to get more jaw surgery done. After some rocky moments, Ryan has (not 100%) decided to finish his hours till his next level, and then come home, and finish his last course in his degree. That means by the end of July, I might see my lover again after a 10 month separation. If this jaw surgery thing didn't get in the way, i would see him much sooner, but the idea of spending the summer in CB has me thrilled! Bring on the love, and bring on the sun! It all cant come soon enough. 

Mar. 14th, 2009


(no subject)

I cant believe the nerve of some people.
How sad it is that their life is just an endless cycle of using and hatred, and never forgiveness. Sad pitiful people. What does a life of cruelty to others get you? I find it hard to believe that people could get joy out of neglecting others they call "friends."
I find it even harder to believe that they think they are worthy of respect and good friendship. Every selfish action you take pushes you further and further away from people and love, until we just cant take you any more.
I cant call you a friend anymore. Three strikes and your out, hunnie. And remember, once youve done this to one person, they will tell 3 more. Chain reaction. Enjoy what you have while it lasts.
Have fun living in your parents house for the rest of your life, hypocrite. You'll go far.

Selfish bitch.

Feb. 12th, 2009



Ive been lonely lately, but chipper. Each day now it taking its chunks out of my strength. However, I have not lost one ounce of faith in myself and 'us'. I have 0 doubts about us. Its just hard, sometimes.
But i have been keeping very chipper apparently. Even some friends are noticing that I am being more optimistic and generally positive about all things in life. I was thinking it was just a passing mood, but if others are noticing, than it must be sticking around. It feels good to have people notice!
For Valentines this year, I can not be with the love of my life, so ive decided to love myself instead. My brother and his girlfriend bought me a full body polish at a local spa for my birthday, and I made an appointment for the 14th. I can not wait for that day now! So glad that I have this body polish to help change my outlook on the coming date.
Im feeling a healthy does of confidence lately. Not too much, but enough to boost me. I feel a perfect equilibrium. I hope it lasts.

Life... even now, with its amazingly staggering ups-and-downs... is good. :)

Feb. 6th, 2009


(no subject)

I want to thank all of you who took part in my amazing birthday. It was, undoubtedly the best one of my life. It might have something to do with growing older, or growing up... but this year I was more content just enjoying the company of my family and closest friends, rather than wanting a bit celebration. So thank you to those of you who participated. You know who you are ;)

Im reading Breaking Dawn. Im obsessed. Im Switzerland.

I've been dabbling in life modeling. Its an incredible experience. I cant wait to do it again.

I still miss Ryan. Its not any easier. Im an attention whore, and needing desperately someone to fill the void in whichever way is acceptable.

Feb. 1st, 2009


Birthday Wish List

My Birthday is coming up. I wont be having a party, but I thought I'd make this list for the people who actually need to know. Dont want to put it on facebook at the risk of sounding materialistic, even though there is a link to it on my page.

Breaking Dawn by Stephanie Meyer

Bella's bracelet from Eclipse (aka book 3 in the twilight series) like this one: http://www.twilightteez.com/bella-s-bracelet-tm.html or this one http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=282179.0

A twilight shirt like these ones: http://www.cafepress.com/the_twilighters

a triple barrel curling iron

A dremel Kit

The Gurilla Art Kit (can be bought at the National Gallery in Ottawa, and online...who knows where else) http://www.amazon.com/Guerilla-Art-Kit-Keri-Smith/dp/1568986882

A flash for my camera.

Christian accessories like these: http://www.christiandollarstore.com/hisdeatwris.html

Thats all i can think of now. I'll update this again when i think of something else.

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